The Dream
by Face Paint
Summary: KisameXItachi: Kisame has an unusual dream... which leads to unusual feelings... What does this mean for his unusual partner? What unusual events are in store? Find out in this unusual fanfic! YAOI! A little bit of crack! a little bit of KakuHidan!


Kisame could feel the cool, fresh water flutter past his gills, sharp teeth spread wide in contentment. His body moved side-to-side as he swam through the ocean currents. He was a shark in his element, tail swishing behind him, smiling dangerously. He glimpsed a wisp of red drifting just out of reach. '_mmm, blood?'_ He swam towards it as the delicious colour drifted further away and disappeared above the water. He poked his head above the surface and saw the source; it wasn't blood, but silk. There was a figure standing on the shore, facing the other direction. '_Mmm, food.' _He swam towards the figure and his view became clearer. It was an elegant woman in a crimson silk robe with long ebony hair that drifted sensually in the moonlit breeze. _Mmm?_ The woman began to turn as he approached, the silky red fabric falling from one of her shoulders revealing smooth ivory skin. Kisame's eyes widened, a warmth spread to his cheeks. The figure reached a long, graceful arm out to him as she turned her head. Kisame was looking into the glassy, onyx eyes of '_Itachi?_

"Kisame" he whispered seductively, beckonging him closer

"Kisame" the name left his lips like a sweet fluid, coaxing the shark nearer.

"Kisame," Itachi was standing over the bed where the unconscious shark lay, a stupid grin spread across his face.

"Kisame, wake up." The calls were ineffective, only spreading the toothy grin wider.

He sighed and closed his eyes, gathering his composure. iEvery morning/i He bent over the shark to nudge his partner's shoulders.

"Kisam-"

"Ita-chan?" Kisame's arms shot out and grabbed the shocked Uchiha, pulling him into the bed.

"Oy Kakuzu un, why must you be so stingy with beakfast? It's the most important meal of the day, un."

"Shut up and eat your grits, Deid-"

**_CRASH_**

A half-dressed shark plummeted through two walls and into the kitchen, smashing the table. Through the gaping hole in the walls, an infuriated Uchiha could be seen glaring venomously, red eyes spinning.

There was relative silence, aside from the moaning coming from a crumpled pile of dry-wall, table, breakfast, and shark. Hidan's angry face appeared through the hole in the first wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO OUR FUCKING ROOM?

"you're paying for the damages, shark."

Kisame looked at Kakuzu, then at the pile of rubble, then at Itachi, dumbfounded.

"ITACHI! WHAT THE HELL!"

Itachi stared knives, then swung himself around and out of sight.

"FUCKIN HELL SHARK BOY, DID YOU DO THIS?"

"SHUT UP HIDAN, IT WAS ITACHI"

"WHAT THE FUCK ITACHI? WE BARELY HAVE OUR FUCKIN ROOM PUT BACK TOGETHER FROM WHEN FUCKIN DEIDARA BLEW IT UP"

"Shut up and put some clothes on, Hidan."

"FUCK OFF KAKUZU, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT OUR FUCKING ROOM'S BEEN FUCKIN ANNIHILATED?"

"All I can see is your naked ass, now put some clothes on."

"HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT CARE?"

"As long as the repairs come out of Kisame's salary, why should I care?"

"GODDAMIT KAKUZU!"

Kisame was getting a headache from both Hidan's yelling and the horrific sight of him naked. He dragged himself out of the pile of rubble and started to leave, while the pair continued shouting.

"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING FISH-FACE? CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS!"

"GOD DAMN IT HIDAN! Can't you just shut up for once? I'm getting a headache!" Kisame rubbed his gills.

"_YOU'RE_ GETTING A FUCKING HEADACHE? TRY WAKING UP TO A GIANT FUCKING SHARK CRASHING THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WALLS AND ANNIHALATING YOUR FUCKING ROOM!"

"TRY WAKING UP TO YOUR CRAZY PARTNER THROWING YOU THROUGH TWO WALLS AND THEN LISTENING TO A LITTLE BITCH COMPLAIN WHILE FLASHING HIS JUNK AROUND!"

There was a communal pause.

Hidan crossed his arms, "you like it."

"_You little_" Kisame was about to launch himself at Hidan in fury when Konan entered the room.

"um Kisame?"

He turned

"You and Itachi have a mission" She handed him an envelope, glancing around the room to see what exactly all the fuss was about. She gawked at the damage to the room, the table, and - "HIDAN! PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON YOU FREAK!" Hidan flushed as Konan stormed out of the room.

Kisame took the opportunity of silence to slip out, behind the blue-haired woman. On the way back to his room he saw Itachi walking in his direction. He chanced a tentative smile, which was returned by an icy glare. Itachi briskly brushed past him.

"Uh Itachi."

The raven-haired boy continued walking.

"We have a mission."

Itachi paused. Without turning, he put out his hand. Kisame placed the envelope into the outstretched palm and watched as the young man glanced over its contents. "Get dressed, we leave in 5."

"But I"

Itachi had already left.

'_Need to get this crap off of me'_ He thought, wiping some of the dust and breakfast sludge from his hair.

The mission was rather typical, except that Kisame's thoughts were mildly distracted, and he kept stealing glances at Itachi, pondering the curious nature of his dream. Itachi's hair-tie had been nicked enough to snap during the missions completion, leaving his long glossy hair to flow freely. This caught Kisame's eyes as he watched the Uchiha's black silk, like a raven's wings, float lightly in the air. The incessant feeling of Kisame's gaze soon wore on Itachi's nerves. He decided to respond with a piercing glare, which succeeded in averting his partner's eyes.

Retuning from their mission, they passed through a small town. It was quiet, but there were a few stores with a few customers. Kisame caught a glimpse of a display in a store front. He paused to confirm the sight. It was a scarlet silk robe with velvet trim, just like the one in his dream. He glanced at Itachi, who had stopped walking but hadn't bothered to look back, then returned his eyes to the robe, an image forming in his mind as he chanced another look at the Uchiha and his long hair flowing freely about his shoulders, catching the light like glinting stars in a midnight sky.

"I will kill you, if you so much as glance at me again." Itachi stated without turning. Once satisfied that the message had been absorbed, he continued walking. Kisame scuttled up behind him staring watching the dirt stir at his feet, not doubting a single word of his partner's declaration.

There were a few minutes of silence, until Kisame's stomach grumbled. He smiled sheepishly, risking a glance at his partner, relieved to see him turn into a restaurant. They entered the small, quaint structure and found themselves the only customers.

"Sit."

Kisame obeyed his partner's orders; he had no desire to irritate the young man any more than he already was.

Itachi walked to the counter, his glossy hair swaying with each step. He stopped, and Kisame quickly looked away, silently berating himself. Satisfied, the raven-haired man approached the counter, made an order, and paid. He returned to sit in the seat opposite Kisame, leaning back and closing his eyes.

A few minutes later a young lady approached their table with a platter. She bat her eyelashes flirtatiously at the Uchiha as he opened his eyes.

"Here's you're cabbage soup! And I had the cook add a stick of dango, my complements!" she winked, placing a bowl and plate in front of the boy, giggling. He nodded appreciatively as Kisame scowled under his breath. "Oh yes," she giggled, "and for you, shark-fin soup!" Her smile was met with a horrific, murderous glare. Kisame reached out, glanced at Itachi furiously, forced a hateful smile, flashing as many jagged teeth as he could, and took the bowl. The girl paled and retreated behind he counter, frightened and sickened by the sight.

"_ITACHI,_" Kisame hissed "what the HELL? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do?"

Itachi calmly raised a spoonful of soup to his lips, and only after tasting it, replied trying to hold back his repulsion, "you pulled me into bed with you," Kisame's eyes widened. "and called me Ita-chan." He said with a suppressed hiss.

Kisame's jaw hit the floor '_Ita-chan?'_ There was momentary silence. "I.. I can explain!" he paused, Itachi didn't look up from his soup. "I had a dream and there was a girl named Ita..ri- chan?" '_oh, shit now it sounds like a pedophile sex dream..!'_ "AND I was going to eat her! because I was a giant shark!"

Itachi didn't look up from his soup, but the virtual fire searing in his eyes could have made the broth boil.

'_Wait, why would I bother learning the name of someone I was going to eat? . Damn.' _"Um ehh"

Itachi looked up, there really could have been flames in his eyes, '_flames that shoot stabbing icicles'_

"heh" Kisame gulped and averted his eyes to the soup, feeling the flaming icicles still piercing into him. He reached for his spoon and began to despairingly eat the treacherous dish. Itachi returned his eyes to his bowl and continued eating, coolly. To the shark's dismay, the soup wasn't actually too bad. He grimaced at the thought. It tasted rather like chicken '_I hope I don't taste like this_ He ate just enough to quell his hunger. When they were both finished they rose to leave.

"Thank you for the dango."

The girl behind the counter flushed profusely, but recoiled immediately when she caught Kisame's eyes.

For once, Itachi was the first to speak, "How was your soup?"

Kisame, surprised by his partners atypical proffering of speech, attempted to smile and replied, "Terrible."

"Hn... I thought you liked chicken."

Kisame looked at him quizzically before realization flooded his eyes.

"Did you?" '_what is this insanity? Itachi hates jokes, he has no emotions, let aside a sense of humor! What is going on?'_ "Itachi! This is your first prank! We should celebrate!" He reached out to playfully punch his partners arm, and was met by a painful twisting in his wrist. He frowned, Itachi looked at him with cold, uninterested eyes, released Kisame's wrist and continued walking. The next few hours were silent.

TO BE CONTINUED :D


End file.
